An Open Love Letter to Bill O'Reilly

Hey Bill,

I miss you. And when I say, "I miss you," I really mean to say, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU BLOWHARD ANAL FISSURE OF A MAN!?!?!" I read on MSN today (http://tinyurl.com/clb5ol) that you're trying to get people to boycott Sean Penn films. Awesome. Sweet. Neato... What the ever-living fuck, Bill?
In this article, it says that you have a "right as an American" to boycott his movies. It is also interesting to note that you have a right as an American to stick your dick in a light socket... please do that. Just because you "have a right" to do something doesn't mean you should do it, you immature little assrag. Nickelback has a RIGHT to put out as many albums as they wants. That doesn't mean they should. In fact, they probably shouldn't have put out any.
But in all honesty Bill, if I need an opinion on what movie I'm going to see, I have several, quality research options at my disposal. For example, I could ask:
1. Rotten Tomatoes
2. My friends
...etc.
To give a reference point, The O'Reilly Factor ranks around #368 right above "Whatever Sound My Last Fart Made Translated Roughly Into A Movie Title From the Early 80's" and right below "Movies Scott Stapp From Creed Personally Tells Me To See." As you can see you are in good company.
On your show, you have often stated that you believe that actors and Hollywood in general should stay out of politics. You even said that the Dixie Chicks should be "slapped around" for their political views. So Bill... Billy... Billtown, stay the fuck away from movies that I like. Don't talk about them... ever. Not even once. As soon as you start thinking about a movie and have even the slightest inclination to voice your opinion, search for the nearest Sobe Bottle and shove it up your rectum.
So that's about it, Mr. Bill O'Reilly. Have a nice day.